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Friday, August 21st, 2009
9:14 pm
I'm alive. Drama is limited to roommate(s).

Ate 5 month old eggs. Still alive.

Walked 12 miles with weights on. Still alive.

Playing WoW. Slowly dying inside.

Watching Merlin. Not decided.

(Bite me)

Saturday, July 18th, 2009
7:50 pm - *nervous giggling fit*
Bulbous Bouffant

(Bite me)

Friday, July 10th, 2009
3:40 pm
For the Harry Potter fangirls.

If you want the mp3 and can't find it, hit me up, I got ahold of a bit of Dr Demento, and it happened to be there.

(Bite me)

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
7:36 am
heh. I think I'm in trouble.

Imma disappear for a few days. Byeee.

(Bite me)

Friday, February 27th, 2009
7:06 am - This war is bigger than fried n00b.
As anyone who's made the mistake of paying attention to me already knows, I'm not just obsessed with, but enthralled by Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson. I just wish I wasn't Randy... [EDIT::Well, more Randy than anyone else... I wish I'd learned UNIX just to create an rpg simulator, though I may end up learning more code to help with an MMO... Right. Don't end up with a Charlene in the process. *thumbs up*]

Work... sucks. They can't decide whether they want to fire me, and I wish they'd get it over with- but since they don't have any *reasons*, aside from me preferring to read than hunt down busywork that takes longer to find than perform, and arriving with an amazing propensity for 2-3 minutes late everyday. They don't want to risk paying me unemployment, and I don't intend to risk them not.

Received actual assload of books from Nick. Mixed emotions. Might catalog them all just to make them more real. Includes Ed Greenwood, Terry Pratchett, and William Gibson, if those names mean things to people reading this. Along with a few classics.

Generally, alive. Reinterpreting my interpretations. Kinda... Hah. Figuring out who I am, by what I do, what I want, and who I think I am. Stacking that question... It gets frightening, quickly.

Playing too much damned WoW.

I can't believe I'm officially on my third manager. I've outlasted two managers. Holy fuck. And every manager seems to like me, when the owners want me out. I feel bad for them, since I'm more than willing to take unemployment.

And hearing the head exec for the company whose franchise branch I work for claim that raising the percentage of oil produced domestically will help fuel prices... Oh, oh, ohhhh, that hurts. I don't know enough words for idiot. Between three languages.

Final note: My hands no longer smell like paint thinner. Though they look like I've been soaking them in mud for the past few hours. Cleaning vapor traps for gas tanks: Not fun. Sort of owwie. In that owwie sort of way.

(Bite me)

Monday, February 16th, 2009
8:21 am - Brief Reality Check (BRC)
Mark isn't having trouble getting over anyone; he's having trouble getting over what he likes.

A woman who likes making out, wants to fuck him, and tells him what to do.

*slap upside the head*

(I'd say pardon the language, but fuck. I'm kinda tired of pretending to be "Me" everywhere I go, instead of myself... It's a terrible habit that I've been attempting to break the past several months)

(Bite me)

Thursday, June 19th, 2008
8:48 am - Smiling
Ya know, I went home wednesday morning, swearing to myself I was gonna give tia space. Swearing it. Saying, oh goddammit, I'm gonna behave myself. Not wanting to, but trying.

You know what? I know how full of shit I am. Hah. I did, I mean, I did behave myself- but... For self-serving purposes, I suppose.

I hate Nick being right so often (I have a smile when I say this- his being right is usually a good thing). He tells me I need to get my own head together, tells me that I need to not be so desperate- you know what else? Tells me, if I smile, I'll be happy. I told mel this, it worked. I know it does.

I went and got truly drunk last night. Cost me $24 (lost a $10 bill- Mark was very, very goddamn drunk). And I couldn't be happier about it. It was worth it.

I'm sitting here now, smiling, happy with myself, with who I am. I don't know how long this will last, but it reminds me that somewhere along the way, I lost my smile. But it's here now. I'm not just behaving myself- I'm getting my head together. I don't think Tia's a lost cause, but she needs her space- I imagine she's the type who'd be upfront enough to tell me outright she's done with me, but she might be tryin to treat me with kid gloves. But I don't care for now. I'm happy.

So, today, I'll be out biking all day. Hangin at sunrise mall, visitin castro at work, visitin maggie tonight maybe. But I'd rather hit the bar again tonight. It's karaoke, dontcha know. ^^

Oh, Narcissus. You behave yourself. Mwah. (Been a while since I loved myself in a more appropriate manner, ya.)

(Bite me)

Sunday, June 15th, 2008
4:59 am - Pray tell, how can one tell one is starving?
Down to 195 lbs. App. 89 kilos.

Mostly muscle, as well- developing actual abs now. It's weird to feel those muscle groups where I never could have conceived of them before.

Fucked shit up with Tia, methinks- want to get ahold of her, need to allow her some space. It's... hard. *shrugs*

Spending much time at gym. Went on 10+ (VERY HILLY) bike ride a few days ago. Body hates me. Didn't even get laid for the effort *pout*. Got ride home though. Maybe next time. Don't have plans wednesday *shrug*

Seeing myself in shape, it's... creepy. It's like, I look at the face and know it's me- I see how pale I am and know it's me- but, it doesn't... click. It doesn't... fit. Ya?

Need new clothes to make me look pretty *nod* Need to talk to Dre about dressing me up to show off at cons *nod* I think she could have a lot of fun at my expense.

(Bite me)

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008
8:52 pm - Bob
I apparently picked up a relationship last Tuesday. And a jealous 15-year-old.


I just kinda stumbled into this one...

Also, have had compliment from her, and from cliff- I am, apparently, a good kisser.

Technically, it's not a relationship- but dictated by the amount of time spent in each other's company, and the mannerisms which we show to one another (and apparently the mood shift she goes through just from my coming around) it's more than just friends.

(Nursing 1 bite | Bite me)

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008
11:01 pm - Hmm...
Schedule changes. I start working monday-tuesday graves next month, and friday-sunday evenings (2-10 pm). So I'll be full time.

Gonna be shitty. But at least I'll have excess money.

(Nursing 2 bites | Bite me)

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
9:16 pm - Incomplete
That's what I get for not writing in so longCollapse )

(Bite me)

9:08 pm - But there is a far greater evil, and that is the ignorance of good men.
I didn’t even realize it- but that has a lot to do with this blog.

I may be about to get laid off. Shell is selling all of its stations in NorCal, and the Tooley’s only get to hold onto the ones they own. And I have no idea what this’ll do for my job outlook.

The closest readily available job for me is 4 miles from home- and my bike’s back tire keeps going flat.

Between taxes and paychecks, I’ll have barely enough to cover rent for the next 2-3 months. That’s the time I have to get a new job. If I don’t find one, I have to bail out on Nick, and I hate to do that to someone I respect- because I don’t know what he’s gonna do. His father passed away, and that was who he was living with before he moved.

If I have to move out, I’m going to enlist- because I’d rather die in a war I don’t support than live with my parents.

I don’t know how many of you pay attetion to the news- The world is going to hell. We’re threatened with the possibility of the worst recession since the 1920’s. Gas supplies are running out within the next decade. The dollar is worth absolute shit overseas, which means our cost of living is gonna shoot through the roof. The gap between the middle and upper classes is growing too quickly. And mistrust of the government is frightening.

I’m afraid that we’re approaching a revolution, or a civil war, within the next several years. And I don’t know that there’s anything to be done about it- it’s just that time for our country.

And I haven’t gotten laid in a month and a half. So I’m blaming that, in part, for my general attitude.

*shrugs* Just feelin shitty lately, folks.

(Nursing 5 bites | Bite me)

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008
12:16 am - In recognition of April Fool's Day:
A "practical joker" deserves applause for his wit according to its quality. Bastinado is about right. For exceptional wit one might grant keelhauling. But staking him out on an anthill should be reserved for the very wittiest.

-Robert Heinlein, "Time Enough for Love"

(Bite me)

Saturday, March 29th, 2008
9:57 pm - Long day.
Broke the garbage disposal here, because some dumbshit left a shot glass in the sink and it fell in.

Got a bed. Final cost estimate: $116.50. Spent an hour moving stuff and putting it together.

Crys decided to stop talking to me- the twins are happy, I'm kinda... meh. I'm figuring if she decides to stop talking to me, I'm gonna go out with a bang- let her know that most of the people in my life hate her, or just find her annoying. As far as my own feelings go, I'm figuring it's safer not to mention. She's a good person, just a fool.

PICS! Finally!Collapse )

(Nursing 6 bites | Bite me)

Friday, March 28th, 2008
4:10 am - So just in time, press rewind, stop, everybody... We're gonna do it again.
To borrow Kendal's style, I think it fits.

This is one of those years, eh? I keep wondering where I am. Grandpa passed in january, then robert's wife, then james lost most of his apartment, then joe's wife, and I just don't grasp it. I keep wondering if I'm supposed to feel something. I just don't feel "loss" in the way I was accustomed to earlier in life. I'd say more, but someone closer to me lost someone far closer to him, echoing this sentiment and more- and I'm trying to leave it to him to work through his issues. I prefer not to butt into his life, if I can avoid it.

This week... hmm. Went to maggie's tuesday night, she left early wednesday, and I spent the day with her mother- did two hours of yardwork. And I went a day and a half without a cigarrette before I was so fed up with my own behavior that I started back up again. And it's not because I was desparate for one- I was acting just like I used to. And I hate that person so much that I'll choose the slow death of cigarrettes over spending one more moment as him. I don't think maggie gets that... I don't think I'm in a relationship with her, but my making an ass of myself may have created... Urgh. I wish I could explain what's going through my head, but then I'm afraid of making things worse on top of that. It's such a frustrating situation. I already find it disturbing enough that it seems that almost none of my friends can stand her, and the mere idea that I don't find it intolerable to spend an extended period with her shouldn't bother me as much as it does, as though it's a peer-induced anxiety. I still succumb far too easily to my friends.

I'm supposed to try to pick up a bed in the next few days, and spend saturday morning with her- part of me wants to cancel so that she doesn't feel like I'm desparate, and part of me wonders if she'll follow through on meeting up with me. I pointed out that she gives me too many second chances- she realizes how new I am to actually socializing. To be chided by someone whose majority of peers seem to be disgusted by her, I think I should be offended more greatly, but instead, I just feel sorry for her. And I feel like it's for the best I not mention it to her.

I've been out and about too much lately.

I get to see the puppy again today! Gotta try not to smell like smoking when I see mom.

I figured out I can put my phone's sd card in the laptops here, so at some point I'll put pictures of myself/puppy.

Peace, yo.

(Bite me)

Thursday, March 20th, 2008
6:01 pm - FUCK!
That. Is. All.

(Bite me)

Sunday, March 16th, 2008
11:04 am - I've never been more scared.
Martial Law Provisions

God help us, one and all.

(Bite me)

Saturday, March 15th, 2008
6:57 am - Who do I blame...
Hah, what a week. Apparently, Crystal has decided to update me on her life once a month. *shrug* I woke up yesterday, rolled over and flipped open my phone to check the time- and noticed I was in "Talk" mode, since apparently a phone call had woken me. Melissa wants me to hand the phone to her so she can tell her off- debating whether to do so, since I've been told off by Crys' family, but I unfortunately don't harbor enough resentment to do so.

Haven't been working out, since I tend to work out four hours before going to bed, generally immediately after work- I'm too tired after grave shifts, and working out before leaves me worried I won't be awake through my whole shift. I'm gonna head home before I crash today though, come back so I can hit the gym, and eat here before going to work- I wanna stay in better shape for the next few days. *laugh* If it works, I may be able to work out every day again.

I think I'm losing the little bit left of my mind... I was dancing around in front of the store last night, while emptying displays. But I mean, I had to- the station I listen to on my radio was playing Feuer Frei, and then 19/2000. *<3 college radio* It's like an iPod, except with access to more music than me.

Apparently chinese electronics are being blamed for infecting people's comps? The whole thing makes me laugh, since what China is doing to grow into a world power, most of the current world powers already did- but they're holding it against them, since now our "sense of ethics" has changed so as not to allow such activities as coal mining. Sometimes I wonder if it's a plot against them, or if it's just ignorance... Not that I approve of many activities, but I recognize their purpose in a growing society.

I'd say more, but... There's not that much to say. I work, do chores, play WoW, hit the gym, and I sleep once every other day or so. Sometimes I even eat! Woohoo!

(Bite me)

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008
5:10 am - This week in review...
James' place burned down Sunday night. I can't find an article online about it, which is really sad. He lost everything he had, and the firefighters said they saw his cat run out- so he waited for it to come back. He was in tears when Cliff dropped by sunday, and again when he came in to talk to the manager monday.

I might get to sleep in a bed next week. Whoo!

Talk to you people when I can?

(Bite me)

Friday, March 7th, 2008
4:01 am - Another interesting day...
Okay, so we're counting things at work every goddamn day to find why our audits are turning up short, but our manager doesn't seem to be taking any measures to prove who may be responsible for stealing things, if anyone.

And we're having a meeting today to discuss the shortages, and I don't recall seeing it on the schedule on monday, the last day I worked.

And I'm applying for another job. Because I'm sick of all the bullshit. I'll probably get paid more, and get more hours. Woohoo. Hopefully good updates to be had later.

(Bite me)

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